Romantic proposals and heartfelt declarations of love are among the first
steps in making that transition toward a fairytale marriage. Although marriage
is a life-changing event, many people move quickly from the romantic proposal to
wedding planning without taking time to assess the value of the relationship.
Investing time in good communication, honest assessment of relationship
compatibility and pre-marital education may help ensure you have a winning
proposal.
Right Partners Bring Stellar Success It has been said, “Who you date is who
you will marry.” It may sound obvious when stated plainly, but good, healthy
relationships begin with the person you choose to date. |
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Sometimes the dating
relationship can be a chaotic throwing of the dice, where people blindly hope to
find Mr. or Mrs. Right. You do not have to travel aimlessly down the path in
pursuit of a compatible partner, someone who will work lovingly by your side to
write a beautiful love story.
Most people who get married expect to stay in the relationship for a
lifetime.1 That is a long time to spend with someone who is not a good fit with
your life goals, values, and passions. By investing time to assess your
relationship before saying “I do,” you improve your chances of building the
marriage you have always dreamed of.
Studies indicate that the more similarities a couple has, the greater will be
their chances for a healthy and successful marriage. The following checklist is
provided to help you in selecting a partner.
Are you and your partner close in age, or in similar life stages?
Is your partner’s educational background similar to yours?
Do you and your partner have similar incomes?
How emotionally healthy is your partner?
Do you and your partner share similar faith beliefs and religious practices?
Are your cultural backgrounds similar (age, race, social and economic status)
Do you share similar values and beliefs?
Are you and your partner able to communicate well through conflict?
Do you and your partner share friends or have similar values around
friendship?
Do you and your partner have histories of family stability and health?
Are your family and friends supportive of this relationship?
Do you and your partner share common interests and activities?
Today, more than any other time in history couples are choosing to
cohabitate, or live together, before marriage. Often couples choose to live
together believing this will give them a better opportunity to get to know each
other and learn how to live with each other before getting married. Despite
these commonly held beliefs, the idea that cohabitation will somehow improve the
quality of a subsequent marriage is wrong.
Research over the last thirty years shows that cohabitation does not lead to
increased satisfaction or stability in marriage. Compared to marriage,
cohabitation creates disadvantages for individuals, couples, and children. Those
who have had less premarital sexual experience and who have not lived together
before marriage or engagement have more healthy and successful marriages.
- Cohabitation actually increases a couples’ chances of being divorced some
day.
- The chances of commitment and permanence are better with marriage.
- Marrieds have better sex lives than cohabiters.
- The longer cohabiters live together the more negative their attitudes
about marriage and child-bearing are.
- Cohabitation cannot substitute for the rewards and benefits of a strong
marriage.
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