Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, discovered after thirty
years of marriage counseling that there are basically five emotional love
languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. Like trying
to watch a foreign film without subtitles, trying to communicate love without
understanding your partner’s love language can create significant barriers to
your partner being able to understand and respond to your loving gestures. The
following list provides a brief description of each love language, for more
detailed information visit the Five Love Languages
website. |
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Words of Affirmation: Someone whose primary love language is
words of affirmation feels most loved and accepted when he or she receives
compliments, verbal recognition and words of encouragement from others.
Quality Time: Partners whose primary language is quality
time feel most loved when they receive focused time in one-on-one communication
and activities with others.
Receiving Gifts: Some partners respond well to visual
symbols of love and treasure gifts as an expression of love and devotion.
Acts of Service: Sometimes things such as helping provide
for the physical needs of your partner, doing household chores, helping with
yard work or maintaining the family vehicles speak loudest to those whose love
language is acts of service.
Physical Touch: Many partners need physical contact, both
sexual and non-sexual touch, to feel loved and connected with their partner.
Find Your Love Language: Knowing your own love language
enables you to know what you need to feel loved and to express those needs more
clearly to your loved ones. To figure out your primary love language, select the
descriptions below that are most like you. The category from which you select
the most descriptions is probably your primary love language. Although you may
have one primary love language, you’ll discover that you also have secondary
love languages as identified by the other descriptions you select. |
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Words of Affirmation
- I feel loved most when my partner compliments me.
- I feel loved most when my partner notices the little things they like
about me.
- I feel loved most when my partner makes me feel good about myself.
- I feel loved most when my partner expresses his/her feelings towards me.
- I feel loved most when my partner says nice things about me in front of
others.
- I feel loved most when my partner encourages me verbally.
Quality Time
- I feel loved most when my partner spends time with me.
- feel loved most when my partner focuses his/her full attention on me.
- feel loved most when my partner and I are doing things (even chores)
together.
- feel loved most when my partner sits and listens to me.
- feel loved most when my partner learns to do an activity I enjoy.
- feel loved most when my partner shares meaningful events in his/her life
with me.
Receiving Gifts
- I feel loved most when my partner gives me flowers.
- I feel loved most when my partner makes me things.
- I feel loved most when my partner sends me a card or letter.
- I feel loved the most when my partner gives me the gift of his/her time.
- I feel loved the most when my partner finds something for me that reminds
him/her of me.
- I feel loved the most when my partner remembers special occasions with a
gift.
Acts of Service
- I feel loved the most when my partner does things for me.
- feel loved the most when my partner surprises me by completing a project
with me.
- feel loved the most when my partner helps me with things.
- feel loved the most when my partner cooks for me.
- feel loved the most when my partner tries to make my life easier.
- feel loved the most when I don’t have to ask for help.
Physical Touch
- I feel loved the most when my partner holds my hand.
- I feel loved the most when my partner hugs me for no reason.
- I feel loved the most when my partner shares sexual intimacy with me.
- I feel loved the most when my partner sits close to me.
- I feel loved the most when my partner touches my face.
- I feel loved the most when my partner kisses me.
Used with permission from The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman |
